I have a real frustration in the immediate post chemo days. I have good internet connection, but am unable to take full advantage. Grrrr. So now I am off again tomorrow, all being well, and still have a huge internet backlog.
I have an even bigger blog backlog (backblog?) So many things to say but the old body is just not cooperating. Taxotere is indeed taxing. The effects are heavier than last time and I feel terribly weak. Not good when there is a chemo treat to shop for! The fingernails are foul, discoloured and very sensitive. My long lost taste bud friends are nowhere near and my mouth feels again as if it has been to the dentist and is fully anaesthetised. And the aching bones , muscles and joints – from ears, neck, shoulders, knees, toes and I think every bone and joint I could imagine. I succumbed to painkillers last night which I try and avoid as an extra burden on those vital organs.
I know that 2 more chemo cycles is so nearly there, but it still feels like a long way ahead. Especially knowing that the side effects are cumulative and it is unlikely to get better. Though of course I am open to that option!
So it is onwards and onwards. Packing up our bits and pieces, along with the side effects and heading home for another few days and some recuperation and replenishment I hope.
And incidentally, Dr W saw me and Twang Arm just as the side effects were taking hold, so he did not see the Twang at its best. He has indeed supplied new tricks and ironically I can hardly move anything at the moment, let alone Twang Arm.
If I look back though, I can see how far I have come. Tomorrow, when we travel, will mark an unbelievable 21 weeks from the diagnosis, with the surgery just days later, and 18 weeks since the first chemo. I can’t pretend it has passed quickly, but it has passed and I am still moving forward towards recovery. It seems to have passed quickly to everyone else though!! But the thing to focus on is that the heaviest things (surgery and most chemo) are mostly behind me now, all being well.
So as we move homewards again tomorrow, I have to remember that each day also takes me forwards and through the treatment.