In one more day, tomorrow – on 1st March, I am going to be able to say “NEXT MONTH”……… I should be finished chemo!
I just cannot wait. I had been geared up for this as I neared chemo 5 in January, and was then blocked by the delay of a week because of those naughty neutrophils. Just one week meant that the date embellished in my mind (28 March) would shift by a minimum of one week into a new month, one which was not NEXT MONTH a few days later. So I have been waiting, rather impatiently, for February to run its course, so that now I really can say NEXT MONTH, all being well I will be finished. Even allowing for more delays, public holidays and other unexpecteds it really should be NEXT MONTH. NEXT MONTH feels as if I can touch it.
I remember sitting in Dr W’s office as he explained the chemo schedule and realising that 8 chemo cycles, every 3 weeks was a long, long haul. 8 x 3 = 24. 24 weeks is nearly 6 months. 6 months is a half a year and a heck of a long time. For anything. Especially for something unpleasant and difficult.
However, I can feel another milestone approaching, which I realise has been buried and overshadowed totally as I have lived in the all exclusive chemo club. And I don’t just mean the radiation treatment which comes next. At some point, there is going to be a huge reality check – and one which has been out of mind mostly while swallowed up by the chemo experience. That is the really big question. So, did the chemo work? I am not sure how strong I am feeling to face up to the litmus test of its success.
That is the topic of another post, but for now I am waiting till tomorrow to be able to say “NEXT MONTH”! 🙂