The sun rises on 2024, with three new words.

The sun rises on another day, the first day of 2024. It is hard work for the sun, rising on a midwinter day in the northern hemisphere. In this part of Scotland the sky is still dark when my body wakes naturally and if the sky is not overcast, golden light spills in through the windows as the sun approaches the horizon.

Silhouette shadows of plants dance on the walls as the sun creeps up and moves slowly across the lower sky.

Every day brings promise and curiosity about what it will bring. Just like the start of a new year. And I broach each new year with curiosity and optimism. Along with my hopes and intentions for the coming months. I bring my new three word mantra into the New Year to remind me of those hopes and intentions and to guide and inspire me to realise them.

For the past weeks I have been savouring my process of reflecting on the past months, thinking about the coming year and seeking the perfect words to capture those intentions. This past few weeks however, have had a mist thrown over them in the form of my second bout of covid. It has left me with a heavy fatigue and a mind that is foggy and slow. Seeking words has been a sludgy process. But as ever, the words themselves seem to play an important part of the magic. I have been holding on to a few precious words, trying them individually, sitting them together to see if they fit. They need to stand on their own communicating their particular intention, as well as being teammates which bring a synergy to the flavour of the coming year. I have been trying on three words for the past few days, but they seemed to jar a little together when placed side by side, a little like a jigsaw piece which looks fine but sits a little awkwardly. Distracted, I turned to my book yesterday morning and one of the first words I read called out to me from the page. I hadn’t found the right word, the right word had found me and slipped comfortably into the place of the word which didn’t quite fit. The jigsaw piece was a perfect fit, the mantra sighed and settled, and so did I, with my three words for 2024:

Contrive, preserve and glow

Contrive

In the coming year it is important that I use this precious time of unfurlment, or soft retirement, wisely. I have been drawing in a number of threads as I settle into this time of my life and I find that these threads have woven into a tapestry which is somewhat ragged and messy at the edges. I want to simplify and disentangle the edges and be able to focus on the main picture. Life is too short to be caught up in distracting details. The word which will guide me in this is “contrive”. This builds on ‘sculpt from last year. Contrive holds a number of nuances, and in particular I like the suggestion from contrive to be in control and proactive in shaping my space and life. This will remind me to be more intentional. I want to ensure that my time is balanced around those essential tasks which need to be done, adulting and the like, life admin and taking care of my responsibilities but also ensuring that I am spending enough time on the things which I enjoy and which are the whole reason for stepping into soft retirement. The lockdown years stalled many plans to shape my physical space and I want to pick up those ideas again. I want to contrive and create spaces which I enjoy to be in. I need to organise shelving for books, storage space for lifetime treasures and declutter some of the keepsakes and papers which amass. I have been simplifying the garden and I now want to shape that into the space I want it to be, where I am drawn to spend time. Contrive will remind and guide me to declutter and simplify my life and design that space as I want. The greater part of this focus is around my home, in recognition of the health limitations which recent years have brought. The past year saw continued health issues bring limitations and along with a change in perspective following the pandemic and an acute awareness of climate emergency, I am no longer drawn by the level of travel which used to be a major part of my life. My focus is more local now, and in the spirit of “contriving” to shape my time, I have already booked a poetry retreat in Scotland in 2024. This will be the most significant travel I will have undertaken since before the pandemic, such a contrast to life and work overseas. Grandmother’s suitcase probably believes she has been retired for good. Contrive will encourage me to carpe the diem in a way which is true to the much gentler life that I am now living. One where frugality and thrift are wise and fitting for the world we live in and for my own space in it.

Preserve

My second word is “preserve”. This word came to be first, and very early in the process. Again it builds on an idea from one of last year’s words. This takes forward  the focus to “harvest” last year. I have made some encouraging progress, consolidating the snippets of writing and swathes of ramblings and I have been refining that into a more structured state. I have been working particularly on my poetry, and find that with all the pieces written over the years and more recently I have a lot of material. I have been shaping that into what I hope will be some smaller pamphlet collections and (in my dreams) a larger collection. I have continued to engage in poetry and writing groups and sessions through the year and feel that I am learning and developing. I was delighted to be asked to share my poetry in the local library one evening talking through my journey both geographically and in writing, covering countries and experiences in many words. I have also been submitting work and had another couple of pieces included in an anthology, a few words in a collective poem to world leaders and performed a poem in an event at Edinburgh’s Push the Boat Out Poetry Festival. A real highlight was being longlisted in a poetry pamphlet competition. Not shortlisted, and nowhere near winning, but the longlisting gave me the valuable validation that there is something taking shape and that I need to keep working on it. What I would love to see would be for that to come to fruition in the future, and for my work to be preserved in a physical format, something that will outlast me. I have also been harvesting my photographs and similarly am thinking of putting together some collections, possibly into photo books but there are so many to choose from. That is a major task, but one which preserve will encourage and remind me to spend time on.

Glow 

My final word is “glow”. I chose this because it will encourage me to thrive, to live my best life and manage limitations rather than feel constrained by them. I won’t be running marathons or climbing mountains but I want to feel as healthy and thrive asfar I can. To see my limitations as something to work around rather than feel regretful or frustrated. Glow can’t change health realities, but it can remind me to be on top of managing my health and wellbeing. The past year has been a challenging one health-wise. I am a terrible worrier, and had been struggling with symptoms which were likely side effects of medications that I was on. Medication changes were slow to bring an improvement and I had to face up to investigations and tests to seek clarification. I also pursued a mental health journey to address unresolved issues from the recent and not so recent past. These have not be easy to work through, but the physical tests have eliminated sinister issues and while there is not a clear answer or diagnosis I have reassurance. The mental health process has brough peace and a level of acceptance of things which cannot be resolved or changed but which can now be rested. In the spirit of facing up to demons, I tackled one of my biggest fears this year. All because of an apple from the tree in my garden. A bite of this sweet fruit triggered a wildly sensitive area of tooth. After years of avoiding dentists following some awful childhood (and adulthood) experiences, I walked into a dentist, sat in the chair and have had that and another tooth treated. This was not in the plan, and I did not honestly think I would ever be able to go to a dentist. Now I have a Dental Plan which includes regular checks, hygienist appointments and a discount on treatments needed. My next plan is to find an optician and check my eyes and replace my glasses if needed. All of this work on my health and wellbeing puts me in a good place to thrive and glow in 2024, not assuming I will be in perfect health, but in the right frame of mind to manage whatever constraints I face.

Glow mirrors and complements the other two words, as it also encourages me to  strengthen the gentle contentment I have found with my life choices. It will encourage me to be active, prioritise my health and with my surroundings contrived to be pleasant spaces, I can enjoy being present in my home and garden. This also encourages me to enjoy opportunities which come my way, and to continue involvement in the writing groups, poetry workshops, Qi Gong sessions and other activities which I enjoy.

This is my 15^th three word mantra, and as ever, as soon as the words settled, I knew they were right. I am ready to rest my 2023 words, “harvest, sculpt and flutter” and pick up my new mantra, perfect for 2024.

This mantra will be especially important as the year will see a particular milestone, one which has been in my mind for many years. I will reach my 65^th birthday in the summer. One which I did not expect to see when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2009, and for which I am incredibly thankful. This birthday is also filled with emotion however, as my mother died on her 65^th birthday, 26 years before I reach the same milestone, a shadow which has sat beside me for all these years. I will be leaning heavily on my three words this year to support me and bring me strength as I approach such a loaded date. All the more reason to seize every day, and to “contrive, preserve and glow” throughout 2024.

May 2024 be kindly, and bring health, happiness and peace across our world.

The sun approaching the horizon on the first day of 2024

Seasonal Reflections

Once we arrive in autumn in the journey towards winter in Scotland, we are surrounded by change in the landscapes around us. We are been mesmerised by a fiesta of colours as trees and foliage transformed from fifty shades of green to  every possible colour through the leaf rainbow towards soft brown. We have seen all shades of red, orange, yellow, russet in a constantly changing kaleidoscope of autumnal colour all around us. 

The trees rapidly shed their colours and glorious branch sculptures emerge, spectacular especially when silhouetted against a stark wintery sky. Since returning to Scotland six years ago where the seasons have different characteristics, I have found this process humbling and it continues to take me by surprise.

A number of weeks have already passed since we shed Summer Time in the UK, and returned to standard GMT (Greenwich Mean Time). This shunted sunset abruptly by an hour and in Scotland we suddenly lost daylight well before the end of the regular working day. The days continued to shorten rapidly, by around 2 minutes in the morning and another 2 -3 in the afternoon. Soon by mid afternoon the light and colour starts to bleed from the sky and the sun sinks earlier each day, eventually slowing to a sunset well before 4 pm, though the onset of evening is felt often by 2 pm, especially on a day when cloud cover is thick. There are days when the light is reluctantly switched on long before the low sun actually sets.

It is at this time of year that my thoughts focus on my three word mantra. It has accompanied me all year long, walking quietly by my side, encouraging me and reminding me of the tone  and focus I had wanted to set for this year. It is at this time of year that I reflect on how each of the three words has guided me as I prepare to move towards a new year, and a new set of three words.

My three word mantra for 2023 speaks to me of my first full year in this middle land of “soft retirement”. Not quite full retirement, but a pause from the merry go round of formal work and the increased space to spend time truly unfurling – prioritising time to write, explore creative outlets , writing, rebuilding my strength and health, and venture out on gentle explorations around me. 

My first word of 2023 has been “harvest”. This recognised that over my lifetime I have a gathered a hoard of treasures. In addition to the physical collection of tiny and not so tiny mementoes of a life in many different places, each with their own memories and significance, there is a wealth of less physical items. I have so many memories, stories and experiences to relate, thousands of photographs, and so many words! Words in half written and fully written stories, poems, and fragments of bigger works such as the memoir. A clear intent behind “harvest” has been to gather these together and shape them into something more manageable and meaningful. And this has galvanised me into refining, organising and shaping my writing in particular. The year has seen encouraging progress in putting together poetry into a broader collection and even resulted in a longlisting for a poetry pamphlet, an evening in the local library sharing my poetry with a warm audience and other steps forward in the writing journey. There is still a long way to go, but the processing of harvesting has undoubtedly guided and encouraged me on the path.

My second word has been “sculpt”. It holds precious association as my mother discovered her talent for sculpture late in life and in her final years was able to develop that creative outlet. It is an important reminder that finding and pursuing that passion requires a balance in shaping our days. “Sculpt” has both validated my recent decisions to prioritise my creative activities as well as pushing me to be intentional and deliberate in how I shape my time. I have been proactive in connecting with the many opportunities, activities and communities which exist. This has resulted in days and weeks which are pleasantly busy and a diary which requires a bit of juggling. But how wonderful to be juggling diary commitments such as writing groups, poetry sessions, Qi Gong classes and the like. If I sit back and don’t sculpt my days, they disappear with a sense of regret. Of course, I do enjoy being able to take my days gently but having some shape is not only motivating but has also produced results from my harvesting.

My third word has been “flutter” and it complements the other two. While sculpting has planning and shaping integral to its purpose, “flutter” gives the permission to wander off when a new idea or opportunity flitters across my vision. I love spontaneity, and I perhaps relish in distraction a bit too much. However, giving myself permission to allow some fluttering when my attention is caught by a surprise, means that I am more intentional overall and have space for flutterings. And in the more literal sense, I still have a fascination for butterflies and their incredible innate magical transformations and migratory patterns. I am constantly astounded that a butterfly will migrate across continents and generations to settle in a place where that little butterfly has never been. How amazing that fluttering can open up unexpected journeys and possibilities.

A waxing crescent moon reminds us of our place in the universe.

The days march rapidly forward, and as I emerge from an unwelcome visitation from Covid, I find that I have lost precious weeks at this time of year. We now have just three more sunsets until we reach the winter solstice, when the sun will reach its furthest point from the north and begin its journey back towards us. Knowing that the days will lengthen and that a new year will soon begin breathes renewed energy to the search for the perfect three words to guide me through 2024.