Scary Thursday

I have a knot in my stomach and feel as nervous as I did before the Scary Chemo Sundays.  Tomorrow is Scary Thursday.

In the late afternoon I will see Dr W, my Breast Surgeon.  I have not seen him since just after Chemo 6 and I am pretty nervous about it.  Firstly, he will be most unhappy at the revenge of Twang Arm (I am too).  Since very early in the radiation, Twang Arm really stiffened and has become painful again.  I have continued to excercise but the range of motion has decreased quite a bit.  It has not helped that I have not been able to swim.  I am also nervous as I do not know what he plans next for me.  Will he want to order a review mammogram?  An ultrasound?  Scan?  Will it involve needles?  Will these show up any scary things?  Scary stuff.

Then I will see Dr W2, my Oncologist.  That will involve a blood test.  The blood test will involve a needle – eech!  Dr W2 also wants to flush my port – that will definitely involve a needles and I hear from others who have this done, that it hurts.  Ouch!  He will also want to carry out some review tests which are scary.  I am also apprehensive about what he wants to do about my port.  If he wants to remove it, that will be scary as it involves a small operation – eeech!  If he wants it to stay, then that means regular flushing, and more importantly, my questioning why he wants the port to stay.

The most important thing for tomorrow though, is that I am relying on him declaring that I am fit to travel to the UK.  I can’t confirm our travel arrangements until I have medical clearance.  If I do get the “all clear” then we will have less than 48 hours to pack and prepare!

I am trying not to think too much about Scary Thursday, and instead to focus on what I hope will be Frantic Friday – packing and getting ready to head to Scotland……….