It’s a strange thing, grief. We think of it as a process which moves in a linear way. We think we are making progress forwards. And then there is a moment, a memory, a scent, or piece of music. Even the sight of a familiar food, and we are again ambushed by a wave of grief, washing over us.
Today, by some unseen alignment, two different posts arrived in my feed, both about grief and loss. And at a time when there are seasonal prompts and reminders of my own grief. The birthday my father would have celebrated earlier this month. The season reminding me that this time last year I made the sudden decision to return to Scotland to spend final days with my father.
Marie writes in her post, Still alive in a wound still fresh, about those unexpected moments when we see or read something which speaks to us with a strength which takes our breath away. The other post I read today, beautifully titled Live forever, provides a privileged insight into the influences and memories of a mother and grandfather:
Two people who live forever in my heart had birthdays last week, my Grandfather and my Mother. Both were very dear to me during the time we shared and both continue to play a role in my life. They’re in my thoughts, my memories, my sense of who I am and how I want to lead my life
This resonates too with my own processing and coming to terms with that strangeness of grief. I wrote last year that grief is within us, not without. And that means that the love and memory for those we have lost lives on within us, along with the values and influences which shape and guide us.