Sometimes it is hard to remember that it is only 3 months since all the heavy treatment finished. Apparently a body subjected to cancer treatments usually needs at least as long to recover as the treatment took. So that means I should allow around 8 months (at least) from the end of May to re-build slowly.
However, I realise that despite my good intentions, I expect myself to be feeling “the same as before” and I find it hard not to push myself. I often find it quite tricky to get a balance which allows me to recuperate and I am striving to function as I was before diagnosis. I am reminded when I get very tired, or as happened today (written on Sunday), when I was out at the market and realised that I wanted to sit and rest (and have a big cold glass of water). I had been wandering around for a couple of hours in the heat and humidity so it is not really surprising. So I listened to my body’s reminder and stopped for a refreshment and a break. I was delighted to find that I quickly bounced back and was ready for a new round of shopping in no time.
It made me think of a friend’s facebook post which asked fellow cancer survivors what changes they have made since diagnosis. I posted a quick reply, sharing rather smugly that I am now doing a Pilates class twice weekly, swimming as often as I can, (and as often as the monsoon allows), being very attentive to my eating habits, taking time to do creative things I enjoy and being pretty disciplined about working sensible hours. After keying it in, I realised that this actually represents quite a lot of changes. I really have to focus on these changes and the role I have in my recovery when the worry worm tries to eat away at my mind in the night. And I really have to try to give myself time to heal.