Is google a good thing?

What did we do before Google?

When I found the lump (on Wednesday 23 September), my stomach didn’t sink in quite the same way it did when a similar thing happened 26 years ago. At that time, I remember feeling nauseous and faint. This time, I had noticed some changes in my left breast, and was intending to seek medical advice in the coming days. Finding the lump almost felt like a chilling confirmation.  I quickly made an appointment to see the doctor – and then I googled!

This was something I have always, adamantly said I would never do.  It just goes to show that you never know how you are going to react when “it happens to you”.  I spent a silly amount of time on the internet, searching and searching. Firstly, for symptoms and then for different diagnoses and the various types of treatment.  The more I searched, the more I realised that my symptoms ticked a few of the “let’s get worried” boxes.  And the more I searched, the more I realised that there is a heck of a lot to breast cancer, and so many different strains and types.

It’s odd– I didn’t feel as scared as I imagined I would and the next day or so I felt as if I was on kind of autopilot. My doctor confirmed what I had guessed.  There was some “asymmetry” which should be checked out in Bangkok. We dealt with the logistics and other complications and within a few days (2 OCtober) I was sitting chittering in Yangon airport with an anxious J by my side. (chittering – a useful Scottish word for shaking so much your teeth chatter – synonymous for crapping it!)

On the short flight to Bangkok, I settled a bit, munched the inflight whatever it was and filled in our landing cards.  A car was waiting for us at the other side to take me to the hospital, so for once I passed on the in flight drinks.  No word of a lie – you have no idea how hard that was!!

I knew that I was going to learn in a matter of hours, whether life was about to change.  Thanks to Google, I knew that it was likely and I really think that helped to prepare us for the tests and results.  And that’s the next bit of the story.  Now I am going to rest those twanging lymph nodes and pick up again tomorrow.

8 thoughts on “Is google a good thing?

  1. You are very brave, not only for the battle that you are waging but also for putting your thoughts and feelings out here for us to read and share with you. Squishes xx

  2. My dear, our prayers and thoughts are with you in this extremely difficult times. We can’t wait for you to be back in Yangon. We dearly miss your presence, your jokes and of course, your big smile. Keep strong as you always do. Would like to share this poem, especially dedicated for you.
    With love and prayers for your speedy recovery!

    My dearest friend,
    Don’t Quit
    Author Unknown

    When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
    When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
    When the funds are low and the debts are high,
    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
    When care is pressing you down a bit
    Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

    Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
    As everyone of us sometimes learns,
    And many a failure turns about
    When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
    Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
    You may succeed with another blow.

    Often the struggler has given up
    When he might have captured the victors cup;
    And he learned too late when the night came down,
    How close he was to the golden crown.

    Success is failure turned inside out
    The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
    And you never can tell how close you are,
    It may be near when it seems so far;
    So stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
    It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit!

  3. Pingback: Feisty aliens – Lost in Space? « Feisty Blue Gecko – a tail of the unexpected

  4. (Belatedly, sorry, I’m reading your blog. I’m gonna read all posts in order and will comment as I go (not knowing what you blog later until I read it). But I know comments on blogs bring smiles.)

    You might be interested to know that after my diagnosis meeting the breast care nurse specifically advised me to only look up cancer info from the UK, because “other people do things so differently”. I’m guessing that most info is from America and, since care is paid for, people get a different pattern of treatment.


    • Hi Paola – love to see your comments and yes they do bring smiles 🙂

      I hope it is not too confusing making your way through the story – I tried to put it all in chronological order but that misses a bit of detail.
      Hope you are still keeping ok

  5. Pingback: The Hunt for Pink October « Feisty Blue Gecko – a tail of the unexpected

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